THE ROAD LESS TRIGGERED starts here!

Five years ago today, a New Year’s resolution changed my life. Now it can change yours too.

On December 31, 2020, I was broken. Literally.

The breaking had begun in January when my best friend and I dissolved our business partnership, and our friendship. Then the Covid shutdown threatened to bankrupt the business altogether. Meanwhile, our kids were schooling at home and quickly becoming Zoombies. By summertime I was getting triggered daily and, on a reckless bike ride after a fight with my wife, I flew over the handlebars and shattered my collarbone on an asphalt road.

They say that bones heal stronger in the broken places. Mine didn’t, and it made for a lengthy rehabilitation.

So, on New Year’s Eve I was contemplating fitness resolutions, when I came across this quote: “Do not let anything in your life be important enough that you’re willing to close your heart over it.” It hit me harder than the asphalt road. I needed emotional rehabilitation even more than I needed physical rehabilitation. Right then and there, I wrote down the resolution that would transform my life and shape my next book:

“Moment to moment, I will notice my heart closing and try to open it back up.”

It was easier said than done.

The first few weeks of ‘21 revealed that I was trapped in my triggers—at the mercy of a moment that repeated over and over again. I realized that, despite a Ph.D in communication and conflict resolution, I wasn’t in charge of that moment—it was in charge of me.

And I realized this was true for almost everyone I knew, both personally and professionally. Relationship scientist John Gottman says that, when our hearts are triggered to close, ninety-four percent of us are powerless to turn it around—our key conversations collapse into the same conflict every time.

And disconnection takes its toll:

• Even the most subtle cycle of rupture and repair consumes our attention and costs us happiness—the birdsong we ignore, the sunsets we miss, the memories that never get made, the moments of joy that never get had.

• Then, as conflict grows, we begin to feel less safe and more guarded, less confident and more insecure, less playful and more irritable.

• At its most chronic, we’re on edge all the time—resulting in anxiety, difficulty sleeping, exhaustion, headaches, health problems, depression, and decreased productivity.

Relationship conflict, even when it’s mild, is rarely contained—it tends to colonize our whole life. And according to Gottman, most of us have been helpless to stop it.

Until now.

Now you can free your relationships from the reactive patterns that imprison them.

For five years, I’ve drawn upon decades of psychological training, a range of other scientific disciplines, the core tenets of the world’s wisdom traditions, and continuous field-testing to hone the process by which you can join the six percent capable of choosing connection over conflict. I call it The Peaceful Pivot Process, and it works by reversing our natural instinct to focus on what we can’t control. More specifically:

While your lizard brain impulsively tries to force peace out there in order to feel peace in here, your higher mind can empower you to create peace in here that produces peace out there.

For the first time, I’m sharing the whole process with you in practical, actionable detail in my new book, The Road Less Triggered: Turning Conflict into Connection with a Single Choice.

It’s taken me five years of experimenting to discover what you’ll learn in five hours of reading.

Can you imagine lasting peace with your partner? Kids who launch successfully but also love to return? Friendships that grow deeper rather than distant? Ruptured relationships restored to their highest potential? A professional life free of personal hang-ups? 

In The Road Less Triggered, you’ll learn how to navigate high-stakes moments with quiet confidence, reconcile in minutes rather than months, and leave behind the endless slog of rupture and repair. You’ll make connection your default condition.

Some truly amazing people are already raving about the book.

• “We know we need help. We lose our tempers. We snap at strangers and hurt the ones we love. With psychological depth and soulful storytelling, Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s The Road Less Triggered offers a path toward a gentler way of being in the world.” —Katherine Willis Pershey, pastor, author of Very Married

• “The Road Less Triggered is a gold mine of real-life insights and relatable examples for navigating our triggers. It’s a firm, humbling reminder that while it’s easy to blame the world around us, true peace comes only from looking inward.” —Brian Macdonald, Judah & The Lion

• “Dr. Kelly Flanagan has a gift for making the hard stuff feel doable. The Road Less Triggered doesn’t just explain why we get stuck in the same arguments—it shows us how to pause, stay open, and choose connection when it matters most. This is a book I’ll be handing to friends who want more peace and depth at home.” —Jon Vroman, founder, Front Row Dads

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And if you order today, you’ll get $348 in bonuses.

• The first chapter of the book, downloaded immediately

• A 90-minute masterclass covering the entire process ($149 value)

• Exclusive access to the launch team and its additional bonuses ($49 value)

• 6 months of paid membership to The Less Triggered Tribe ($150 value)

These bonuses are only available during the pre-order window, so make sure you don’t miss them!

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Exactly one year after I made that New Year’s Resolution, I discovered the depth of its power.

Our family had just returned from a holiday vacation. Historically, I’m an easily triggered traveler, but I’d practiced my resolution all the way to Mexico and back. Now we were sitting at the kitchen table, setting our family intention for the coming year, when my wife suggested I finally share my resolution with the kids.

After explaining it, everyone got very quiet. Then my daughter said, “That must be why, every time something went wrong on the way to Mexico and back, I looked at you and felt calm.” Suddenly, I realized the resolution wasn’t just changing me, it was changing the people around me, even when they had no idea I was practicing it.

You can become the soothed nervous system that soothes nervous systems…the calm soul that calms souls…the open heart that opens hearts.

All of that and more lies just ahead of you, down the road less triggered.