So well poetically put. My daughter just moved to college. I miss her everyday however as you said, I access the memory of my own going away and how my parents came to terms with it. She was here for spring break and it was like old times of course with her mature self. My spiritual mentor recently said, time is just a distance between two arisings and space is just a distance between two perceptions. Sitting in that knowledge I know, time and space is just a limitation of mind.
Well, Khayat, that is just as poetically put. I’ll be thinking about those two “distances” for a while. And thank you for the lived reassurance that good times with them still lie ahead after they’ve left. 🙏
I can relate. I remember the excitement, anticipation, and twinge of sadness as my two kids explored colleges. Five years later, after their college experiences were somewhat harsh and difficult, both kids returned home to figure things out. It was a bumpy road for us all, but I have confidence in them and their future, something they are wrestling with at the moment. In the struggles though, I try to remember to value the time, whatever the situation we are in.
As someone turning 67 this summer, my thoughts about time and the future lean toward a slight sense of urgency. My want-to-do list seems long and the road doesn't look as endless as I remember it way back when.
Thank you for this, Tom. I can feel your sincerity in it, both about enjoying what is happening, and the urgency to make more things happen. That is exceedingly relatable.
This is my favorite essay of yours so far. Your storytelling was magnificent here. Every word. I was with you, bobbing my head in understanding.
I especially love your concise and succinct way of illustrating time: memory, mindfulness, and imagination. That is something I want to ponder more deeply, because there's so much that can be said about each of these!
You're probably about four years older than I am, because I was a freshman in high school in 1995, but I remember so clearly graduation day in 1999. Our class theme song was "Party Like It's 1999" by Prince. (Yep, I remember the Green Day song you mentioned, too.) For some reason, I was ready to let go of high school. I chose to graduate a semester early, and I was eager to begin college. I guess I'll need to think more about that, too, related to the passage of time and life's major milestones.
Also, a final note: I had to laugh when you said your daughter was singing the Van Halen song "Jump" and thought it was from the movie Sing. That happens in our house all the time. My kids think a cover of a song is the original, and I always scrunch my face and say, "No, no, no, now we have to listen to the original version, so you can see how old it really is (and usually how much better it is)."
Honestly, this was a beautiful rendering today, Kelly, and I got a glimpse into your life as a dad, too. That was my favorite part. Thank you.
Jeannie, thank you for your kind words about the post.
And my goodness, same graduation cycle but one stage behind! Do you remember that Baz Lurman song, “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen,” with a graduation speech in it? I wonder if it was just college kids playing that song that year, or if it made it down to high school?
Thank you, Erin. Our oldest turned the page in about eighth grade and we didn’t realize it until a couple years later, so it wasn’t quite as poignant. 😊
Ahhh, Kelly. This is gorgeous and brings to mind so many memories of walking that season of life with our kids. Letting go is always in season, I'm afraid. If it doesn't put us leaning into our faith, I don't know what does. It can be brutal. ( I suggest lots of chocolate in addition to prayer)
I feel this in my chest right this very second. Bless your heart, as they say.
Well, Donna, look who just wrote something gorgeous as well: "Letting go is always in season, I'm afraid.” If I steal that for a future post title, I’ll be sure to give you credit. ❤️
Beautiful writing, Kelly. I resonate with the “fighting” that you describe - time to open up hearts to the ushering instead of fighting it. The experience will be so much more meaningful and embracing it is the only way to move through time.
Your words gave me chills…which means you spoke TRUTH in all your wisdom.
Time as a tour guide. Very helpful and more welcoming and friendly than the fear or uncertainty of ‘what’s next’…😬. Especially for me,as I made it through the growing up journey with my now independent adult sons. The last decade has been chock full of growing pains surprises, windy bumpy roads and unclear weather patterns?
As I embark on the next chapters…for all of us, but especially for me…
I’m still hoping (praying) for a smoother, softer landing on the arrivals 🙏🙌🙌.
Thank you, Marilyn 🙏 I actually thought of you this week, and how much attention and care you still give to your parenting. It was comforting. It makes it feel less like a passing and more like a change of form. So, thank you. ❤️
Time is galloping over here. My son, a high school senior, is making the last rounds this month as an admitted student on campus grounds (he’s narrowed his choices down to two). Just last weekend, while walking alongside him he turned to me, we locked eyes and he said, “I sorta love it here mom”. That’s all I needed to hear.
I’ll stop wrestling time. I’ll be grateful for every moment spent with him until August 20th when he sets foot under a different roof and I’ll look forward to hearing about all his adventures.
Oh, Allison, amongst our tours of mostly high school juniors, there were seniors doing exactly what your son is doing. I kept wondering what it might be like for those parents, so much closer to this threshold. Thank you for being the one to let me know. 🙏
Time is a gift from God. It was granted to us to allow for us to learn and grow before we return to Him. It's better to appreciate it than to gripe about it. We cannot get back time spent especially the time spent grumbling about time itself.
I understand it might not be typical Protestant or Catholic Doctrine but in my church there is a distinct plan designed by God where time is introduced to our mortal condition for the express purpose of learning and growing.
Alma 12:24 And we see that death comes upon mankind, yea, the death which has been spoken of by Amulek, which is the temporal death; nevertheless there was a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God; a time to prepare for that endless state which has been spoken of by us, which is after the resurrection of the dead.
Lovely. Memory, Mindfulness and Imagination. Yes, this is the process I facilitate reflection in my clients. It is therapeutic because this process facilitated from one to another is integrative.
This is a beautiful expression of a lesson best learned earlier in life than I did. As I rapidly approach my 70th birthday, your observations resonate with me. Thank you for blessing us with this.
Becky, I’m wondering if it’s even possible to learn until later in life. It requires a kind of surrender that doesn’t come so naturally to the young. 😊
Looking at only a couple or hopefully a few decades of life left, time is front and center in my mind. What is the best way to spend it and how to be more present- focused is my learning curve.
Allison, we’re all on that curve with you. Here’s something shocking I’m discovering: I thought being present in time would make it slow down, but that was just another illusion of control I was hoping for. It clips along at its own pace, no matter how attentive we are. I guess the best motto is just, “Don’t miss it."
I am getting ready to travel with my son, his wife and their two small children to the Smoky Mountains where we took him as a 3 year old boy, the same age as his son is now. All week, as I have prepared to travel, I have been visiting the past when he was a small boy and looking to a future visit with his look alike child. My hope is to enjoy this vacation, be present, knowing the time will move fast but hoping to be apart of the memories they take forward into another generation.
“...hoping to be apart of the memories they take forward into another generation.” Cathy, that is so achingly beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. Blessings on your time with your family. 🙏
So well poetically put. My daughter just moved to college. I miss her everyday however as you said, I access the memory of my own going away and how my parents came to terms with it. She was here for spring break and it was like old times of course with her mature self. My spiritual mentor recently said, time is just a distance between two arisings and space is just a distance between two perceptions. Sitting in that knowledge I know, time and space is just a limitation of mind.
Well, Khayat, that is just as poetically put. I’ll be thinking about those two “distances” for a while. And thank you for the lived reassurance that good times with them still lie ahead after they’ve left. 🙏
This was so timely and poignant for me.
I’m so glad this arrived at the right moment for you, Deborah.
I can relate. I remember the excitement, anticipation, and twinge of sadness as my two kids explored colleges. Five years later, after their college experiences were somewhat harsh and difficult, both kids returned home to figure things out. It was a bumpy road for us all, but I have confidence in them and their future, something they are wrestling with at the moment. In the struggles though, I try to remember to value the time, whatever the situation we are in.
As someone turning 67 this summer, my thoughts about time and the future lean toward a slight sense of urgency. My want-to-do list seems long and the road doesn't look as endless as I remember it way back when.
Thank you for this, Tom. I can feel your sincerity in it, both about enjoying what is happening, and the urgency to make more things happen. That is exceedingly relatable.
Time as our tour guide,
no resistance or regret.
Past, present, now, next?
Love the poetry, Marisol! ❤️
Kelly!
This is my favorite essay of yours so far. Your storytelling was magnificent here. Every word. I was with you, bobbing my head in understanding.
I especially love your concise and succinct way of illustrating time: memory, mindfulness, and imagination. That is something I want to ponder more deeply, because there's so much that can be said about each of these!
You're probably about four years older than I am, because I was a freshman in high school in 1995, but I remember so clearly graduation day in 1999. Our class theme song was "Party Like It's 1999" by Prince. (Yep, I remember the Green Day song you mentioned, too.) For some reason, I was ready to let go of high school. I chose to graduate a semester early, and I was eager to begin college. I guess I'll need to think more about that, too, related to the passage of time and life's major milestones.
Also, a final note: I had to laugh when you said your daughter was singing the Van Halen song "Jump" and thought it was from the movie Sing. That happens in our house all the time. My kids think a cover of a song is the original, and I always scrunch my face and say, "No, no, no, now we have to listen to the original version, so you can see how old it really is (and usually how much better it is)."
Honestly, this was a beautiful rendering today, Kelly, and I got a glimpse into your life as a dad, too. That was my favorite part. Thank you.
Jeannie, thank you for your kind words about the post.
And my goodness, same graduation cycle but one stage behind! Do you remember that Baz Lurman song, “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen,” with a graduation speech in it? I wonder if it was just college kids playing that song that year, or if it made it down to high school?
YES! I loved that Baz Lurman song. It's still on my YouTube Playlist!
Ha! Love it!
Ugh. That moment when you catch them turning the page to the next chapter.
Thank you for the reminder that time is our 'escort.' There’s something tender about being 'ushered.' Beautifully written.
Thank you, Erin. Our oldest turned the page in about eighth grade and we didn’t realize it until a couple years later, so it wasn’t quite as poignant. 😊
Ahhh, Kelly. This is gorgeous and brings to mind so many memories of walking that season of life with our kids. Letting go is always in season, I'm afraid. If it doesn't put us leaning into our faith, I don't know what does. It can be brutal. ( I suggest lots of chocolate in addition to prayer)
I feel this in my chest right this very second. Bless your heart, as they say.
Well, Donna, look who just wrote something gorgeous as well: "Letting go is always in season, I'm afraid.” If I steal that for a future post title, I’ll be sure to give you credit. ❤️
Beautifully written, Kelly. Thank you!
Thank you, Patricia!
Beautiful writing, Kelly. I resonate with the “fighting” that you describe - time to open up hearts to the ushering instead of fighting it. The experience will be so much more meaningful and embracing it is the only way to move through time.
Thanks, Eunice. Yes, I’ve been feeling it every day since - it’s making everything richer and even more meaningful.
Kelly, stunning piece on how we travel…
Your words gave me chills…which means you spoke TRUTH in all your wisdom.
Time as a tour guide. Very helpful and more welcoming and friendly than the fear or uncertainty of ‘what’s next’…😬. Especially for me,as I made it through the growing up journey with my now independent adult sons. The last decade has been chock full of growing pains surprises, windy bumpy roads and unclear weather patterns?
As I embark on the next chapters…for all of us, but especially for me…
I’m still hoping (praying) for a smoother, softer landing on the arrivals 🙏🙌🙌.
Thank you, Marilyn 🙏 I actually thought of you this week, and how much attention and care you still give to your parenting. It was comforting. It makes it feel less like a passing and more like a change of form. So, thank you. ❤️
Time is galloping over here. My son, a high school senior, is making the last rounds this month as an admitted student on campus grounds (he’s narrowed his choices down to two). Just last weekend, while walking alongside him he turned to me, we locked eyes and he said, “I sorta love it here mom”. That’s all I needed to hear.
I’ll stop wrestling time. I’ll be grateful for every moment spent with him until August 20th when he sets foot under a different roof and I’ll look forward to hearing about all his adventures.
This essay really found me, Kelly. Thanks 🙏🏼
Oh, Allison, amongst our tours of mostly high school juniors, there were seniors doing exactly what your son is doing. I kept wondering what it might be like for those parents, so much closer to this threshold. Thank you for being the one to let me know. 🙏
Time is a gift from God. It was granted to us to allow for us to learn and grow before we return to Him. It's better to appreciate it than to gripe about it. We cannot get back time spent especially the time spent grumbling about time itself.
Man, I have a hard time seeing it as a gift, JC. That may be one of your spiritual gifts! I’m working on it, though. Thank you for your nudge!
I understand it might not be typical Protestant or Catholic Doctrine but in my church there is a distinct plan designed by God where time is introduced to our mortal condition for the express purpose of learning and growing.
Alma 12:24 And we see that death comes upon mankind, yea, the death which has been spoken of by Amulek, which is the temporal death; nevertheless there was a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God; a time to prepare for that endless state which has been spoken of by us, which is after the resurrection of the dead.
I can get on board with that, JC!
Lovely. Memory, Mindfulness and Imagination. Yes, this is the process I facilitate reflection in my clients. It is therapeutic because this process facilitated from one to another is integrative.
Hmm, I hadn’t thought about it as integrative, but I like that, Julia. It’s how we can own our whole story at once. Thank you!
This is a beautiful expression of a lesson best learned earlier in life than I did. As I rapidly approach my 70th birthday, your observations resonate with me. Thank you for blessing us with this.
Becky, I’m wondering if it’s even possible to learn until later in life. It requires a kind of surrender that doesn’t come so naturally to the young. 😊
Looking at only a couple or hopefully a few decades of life left, time is front and center in my mind. What is the best way to spend it and how to be more present- focused is my learning curve.
Allison, we’re all on that curve with you. Here’s something shocking I’m discovering: I thought being present in time would make it slow down, but that was just another illusion of control I was hoping for. It clips along at its own pace, no matter how attentive we are. I guess the best motto is just, “Don’t miss it."
I am getting ready to travel with my son, his wife and their two small children to the Smoky Mountains where we took him as a 3 year old boy, the same age as his son is now. All week, as I have prepared to travel, I have been visiting the past when he was a small boy and looking to a future visit with his look alike child. My hope is to enjoy this vacation, be present, knowing the time will move fast but hoping to be apart of the memories they take forward into another generation.
“...hoping to be apart of the memories they take forward into another generation.” Cathy, that is so achingly beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. Blessings on your time with your family. 🙏