Loneliness is the experience of feeling unseen and misunderstood. Unloneliness is its direct opposite and, every once in a while, it can be found in the most unexpected of moments and the most unanticipated of places…Humaning with Dr. Kelly Flanagan is a reader-supported publication. To support my work and receive soul-nourishing, ad-free writing, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Nora McInerny -Faced giant grief head-on, all the feelings. And--who knew--humor remains in the mix?! She’s real and flawed and wonderful and feels true!
I've got nothing. I'm not a reader. Kelly, this is where you are "special". I can quote scriptures and I can point to talks given by church leaders that are searchable on https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/ under conference talks which we hear twice a year world wide. I can tell you about one or two books I liked as a child and a few books I picked up because I liked the movies, etc. Still, I'm not well read nor do I like curling up with a "good book" like so many people do. Thankfully my children are like my wife and love to read and have already surpassed my life long number of books read several times over. Even your books, I have read them like homework because I was on task to give them a chance just because I liked stuff you wrote in your blogs. I came across your blogs back in 2016 in moments of pure loneliness and desperation to find a way to feel okay about my life and where I was going. I started putting comments on the blog comment section and you and others responded to me and made me feel seen and heard, and not alone.
I don't hold written words very well. I have a hard time focusing on them and I often miss a lot of details that others seem to hold like it was a meaningful conversation. What I retain is feelings. I have ideas and thoughts and some few words every once in a while promote a sense of emotional well being and connectivity that make me remember that I liked what I read. I liked the author and the message I got from them. You asked us not to put you in the comments Kelly, but sorry bro, you are about all I've got and if anyone asked me to quote you, I can't. I don't know one word from any of your books that I could relay to someone, even if my life depended on it. I got that mug from working with you on the Elijah book launch and after much thought and looking back at the book I realized, "oh, that was the name of the coffee shop in the book on this mug, how clever." I didn't realize that is what it was called. Literally, I would have to go find that mug or the book to tell someone the name of that shop right now.
I read books by Jack London as a teenager. Everything with "Wolf" in the title anyway. Thanks to movies based on those books I can retain a few bits of storyline in conversations about them but all I really remember from those books that engaged my mind was how Mr. London described the world from the viewpoint of a wolf. The beauty of nature and the feeling of freedom calling from some distant place. The concepts of power and a will to live and thrive bubbling up in a primal fashion to help good overcome the worst kinds of evil and to bolster you when sadness seemed like the only emotion there could ever be at moments. Your descriptive writing style reminds me of that and evokes a sense of comfort and familiarity that I enjoy.
Do I have to pick just one? Henri Nouwen would be at the top of my list. And Watchman Nee. I love deep truths, simply stated, creatively crafted. The kind of truth that makes you feel tingly and you read over and over again just to savor it. Einstein believed that the most complex mathematical concepts should be stated that way too. That’s why he spent years distilling his multi-volume theory of relativity into one elegant, simple and creative statement: E=MC squared.
I love this question. I’m praying for you as you dive into your soul, navigate acceptance, and embrace the need for your unique voice. The world needs the beautiful ways that you weave stories and teachings. Your approach makes me feel seen, understood, and less lonely. My dad always said that a good leader teaches others how to lead themselves. I see you being a leader as an author. The way you tell stories, weave related teaching, and create meaning from the journey, leads me to do the same. Proverbs 20:5 says, The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. The writers I love all have this ability in common. Through reflection, honestly, and vulnerability, they empower me draw out all that is in the deep well of my own soul. These authors give words and permission to create meaning. They help me put together a puzzle where I was just fumbling with the pieces.
Henri Nouwen, specifically The Inner Voice of Love
Shauna Neiquist, specifically Cold Tangerines, Present over Perfect, and I Guess I Just Haven’t Learned That Yet
Fr. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan writing from Albuquerque, NM. His daily meditations and his book The Universal Christ opened my soul and understanding to the Mystery and Awe present in the world and in my single small life.
Before I read any of the replies, my answer was already Henri Nouwen. I love his vulnerable, soul naked, honesty in seeking God, with community, in the midst of his own messiness.
Nora McInerny -Faced giant grief head-on, all the feelings. And--who knew--humor remains in the mix?! She’s real and flawed and wonderful and feels true!
New author to me, thank you!
I've got nothing. I'm not a reader. Kelly, this is where you are "special". I can quote scriptures and I can point to talks given by church leaders that are searchable on https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/ under conference talks which we hear twice a year world wide. I can tell you about one or two books I liked as a child and a few books I picked up because I liked the movies, etc. Still, I'm not well read nor do I like curling up with a "good book" like so many people do. Thankfully my children are like my wife and love to read and have already surpassed my life long number of books read several times over. Even your books, I have read them like homework because I was on task to give them a chance just because I liked stuff you wrote in your blogs. I came across your blogs back in 2016 in moments of pure loneliness and desperation to find a way to feel okay about my life and where I was going. I started putting comments on the blog comment section and you and others responded to me and made me feel seen and heard, and not alone.
I don't hold written words very well. I have a hard time focusing on them and I often miss a lot of details that others seem to hold like it was a meaningful conversation. What I retain is feelings. I have ideas and thoughts and some few words every once in a while promote a sense of emotional well being and connectivity that make me remember that I liked what I read. I liked the author and the message I got from them. You asked us not to put you in the comments Kelly, but sorry bro, you are about all I've got and if anyone asked me to quote you, I can't. I don't know one word from any of your books that I could relay to someone, even if my life depended on it. I got that mug from working with you on the Elijah book launch and after much thought and looking back at the book I realized, "oh, that was the name of the coffee shop in the book on this mug, how clever." I didn't realize that is what it was called. Literally, I would have to go find that mug or the book to tell someone the name of that shop right now.
I read books by Jack London as a teenager. Everything with "Wolf" in the title anyway. Thanks to movies based on those books I can retain a few bits of storyline in conversations about them but all I really remember from those books that engaged my mind was how Mr. London described the world from the viewpoint of a wolf. The beauty of nature and the feeling of freedom calling from some distant place. The concepts of power and a will to live and thrive bubbling up in a primal fashion to help good overcome the worst kinds of evil and to bolster you when sadness seemed like the only emotion there could ever be at moments. Your descriptive writing style reminds me of that and evokes a sense of comfort and familiarity that I enjoy.
Jack London! Love it. I'd be curious to hear what impact those books would have on you now if you went back and appreciated them anew.
Kelly Corrigan . I have so often found myself thinking “ me too “ as I read her work . I also relate to Kate Bowler .
I love your writing as well . I have given Lovable as a gift to several people . I will definitely purchase the follow up, so keep at it :)
Love Kelly Corrigan, and Kate Bowler is new to me, thank you, and thanks for the encouragement!
Do I have to pick just one? Henri Nouwen would be at the top of my list. And Watchman Nee. I love deep truths, simply stated, creatively crafted. The kind of truth that makes you feel tingly and you read over and over again just to savor it. Einstein believed that the most complex mathematical concepts should be stated that way too. That’s why he spent years distilling his multi-volume theory of relativity into one elegant, simple and creative statement: E=MC squared.
Mary Oliver, always. CS Lewis.
The first author that popped into my mind is Brennan Manning.
Henri Nouwen makes me feel less lonely - but it’s hard to pick just one, and that makes me grateful.
Dr Kathleen Smith does it for me.
New author to me, thank you!
I love this question. I’m praying for you as you dive into your soul, navigate acceptance, and embrace the need for your unique voice. The world needs the beautiful ways that you weave stories and teachings. Your approach makes me feel seen, understood, and less lonely. My dad always said that a good leader teaches others how to lead themselves. I see you being a leader as an author. The way you tell stories, weave related teaching, and create meaning from the journey, leads me to do the same. Proverbs 20:5 says, The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. The writers I love all have this ability in common. Through reflection, honestly, and vulnerability, they empower me draw out all that is in the deep well of my own soul. These authors give words and permission to create meaning. They help me put together a puzzle where I was just fumbling with the pieces.
Henri Nouwen, specifically The Inner Voice of Love
Shauna Neiquist, specifically Cold Tangerines, Present over Perfect, and I Guess I Just Haven’t Learned That Yet
Glennon Doyle
Anne Lamott, specifically Traveling Mercies
Holley Gerth
Lindsey, thank you so much for your heart-felt encouragement, I really appreciate it. And Holley Gerth is new to me, thank you!
Fr. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan writing from Albuquerque, NM. His daily meditations and his book The Universal Christ opened my soul and understanding to the Mystery and Awe present in the world and in my single small life.
Gregory Boyle touches my soul profoundly. Truth is I have so much inside me I love so many including you.
Before I read any of the replies, my answer was already Henri Nouwen. I love his vulnerable, soul naked, honesty in seeking God, with community, in the midst of his own messiness.
Krista Tippett-On Being Project and Parker Palmer
Henri Nouwen,
David Benner
Henri Nouwen, Frederick Buechner, Richard Rohr, Parker Palmer, Anne Lamott, Kelly Flanagan, Barbara Brown Taylor, Kate Bowler
Second Kate Bowler recommendation, can't wait to look her up!
Richard Paul Evans.