What a thoughtful & timely post Kelly! Here goes: Thank You for sharing this new Day with me. We need each other. Let’s take better care. Together We Can. Rest well.
This is lovely, like a sharing of lullabys. My husband has a friend in his late 80’s who talks to God as he falls asleep. He says: Ok, God, if you have something for me to do tomorrow, wake me up in the morning. I love this. But mostly I talk to my self doubt buy silently chanting: I deeply and completely love and accept myself. .
That's a pretty amazing way that your husband's friend establishes each day as a gift before it even starts.
Also, I love the way you phrased that: talking to your self-doubt. It locates you outside of it, and it sets the stage for being tender toward it rather than critical of it. Inspiring, Cara!
Thank you Kelly! I am recharging from a reunion with my college roommate. It has been 30 years since we have seen each other...so you and I have a bit in common! However our class (high school '73) is past the 50 year mark!
Laurie's THE HO’OPONOPONO RITUAL— Thank you for today. Help me love myself, recharge with the gifts YOU have created me with, so I can use them for myself and others tomorrow. Amen 🥰
Wow, Laurie, 30 years in between, how wonderful that your ties continued to bind you across all those years!
I love your evening ritual. The focus on service to others spoke to me. There is something powerful about taking oneself out of the center of things as we are falling asleep. 🙏
I love this, thank you Kelly! I have a little mantra I say when falling asleep when I’m feeling anxious that helps. (I should probably do a version of this every night). The hypnagogic state is a powerful one for suggestion!
Yes! The power of suggestion in those moments before falling asleep is something I've used too.... like asking my dreams to show me a sign of the next step (occasionally they comply!)
It never ceases to amaze me: when someone starts to intentionally welcome in content from their unconscious, they start remembering their dreams. Keeping a journal by the bed can be a gold mine!
I really like this and will be using it. I have been addressing a core safety wound that I am now aware drives much of my action and reaction. I was accused of being controlling and now see I was… And just trying to keep myself safe. I am safe now. Need to repeat that before bed!!
That’s it, Carla. We are controlling. We’re trying to control danger. What a powerful thing, to remind yourself that you’re safe now so you can release some control!
Also, for the first time ever I revised a post after I published it. You can see above that we share the need for that reassurance: "You are going to be OK." I think we all do!
I liked Noah Wyle in "The Librarian". That's more my style of entertainment. I did watch a lot of ER shows, but never felt enamored by it. My parents were both medical professionals (RN & Respiratory Therapist) so they critiqued the medical stuff all the time, removing the hollywood magic from the production for me.
My graduating class has not said much for any kind of reunion stuff this year even though it's our 30th as well. I don't think there is a lot of interest for those of us out of town to travel back for it. I come from a small place. Maybe 250 total graduates in my class, maybe. I had friends and am still sort of connected via Facebook to them, but I have no real connections to any of my peers since leaving. I was glad to get out honestly. High school was more of a nightmare than anything else. I was luckily not physically abused as some poor kids were but I got plenty of the other kind from elementary days until at least my sophomore year. I was not involved in anything at school really and I was not interested in much outside of school. I did scouting and church stuff and worked and that was it. I've worked, and worked, and worked.
Yuck. I need to get over my ick and just find some things to enjoy now. I'm so bad at hobbies and "self care" type stuff. My only real commitment is my love for my family and even that doesn't motivate me enough to be a better me like I want it to.
This mantra...maybe it can help. I'm not big on vocalizing much, so I'll maybe try it in my journal tonight. I'll write each word down and consider the several things I am grateful for, the several things I need to forgive, and the things I need forgiveness from under the list of people I love. I'll try it at least the once...maybe I'll try it again after that. We'll see.
JC, I always appreciate your honest reflections. We had a graduating class of about 180, and there were only a few dozen of us at the reunion. For me, it served as a reminder that high school is a time that a lot of us don’t wish to revisit. That makes sense.
Regarding your mantra. Take a look at the revised version of this post (first time ever). Consider not repeating Noah Wyle’s words, but whatever words your soul needs to hear the most.
Yeah...I like you phrasing on this, "...you don’t have to deny that stress to cultivate calmness in your mind, body, and soul at bedtime."
That is profound on it's own. I recall going through a meditation audio with my wife one time years ago. It was some guy who went and lived with Tibetan or ShaoLin Monks for several years. He talked about our mind being like a highway with all these passing vehicles (thoughts) and that to be mindful you just have to notice them passing...oh look there goes a blue one...there goes a thought about how sad I feel. He then specified that you just notice them, you don't have to make it stop and then dwell on it but just let it pass by. It was never about thinking hard and crushing, burning, or throwing away negative thoughts and feelings, it was always about letting them exist then having your interest on letting them pass as you focus on all the vehicles that are passing through your mind highway.
Maybe I can still use the words that Noah used on the show, but maybe I can also ad to them. I love, I thank, I forgive, I seek forgiveness, then... I am going to be okay and I have lots of reasons to get up and move in the morning. I need this sleep because I am going to contribute to important steps that will make me okay, even if it's not tomorrow, but the next day.
Rather than words, as I get comfortable in bed, I try to shift my awareness to body sensation, as the practice of yoga nidra has taught me to do. It's the fastest way for me to quiet my thinking mind and drift into easeful sleep. I love your suggested practice too Kelly, how beautiful 😊
DISENGAGE MY THOUGHTS through connecting to my body using the Vipassana method of scanning the sensation helps me to be present to myself and to God. I observe my thoughts and my emotions. If I were to let myself engage my thoughts it is difficult to fall asleep. Presence helps me more than words.
I wish I could tell you I had some deep and meaningful ritual as I fall asleep. My reality is I climb in bed around 8:45 PM. I smile with gratitude to have such a comfortable bed. I take several slow and deep breaths. Then, within minutes, I am asleep.
Ken, I appreciate your honesty as always. If you have time, take a look at the revised version of this post (first time ever). BTW, we need to talk about how you make an 8:45 bedtime work every day!
Kelly, after reading your post, and posting my comments last night, I fell asleep to the words, "I am energy. I am love. I am light. I am magnificent." Over and over again. This was inspired by my new favorite book (which we will talk about tomorrow)!
I love the opportunity to sleep and re-charge each evening. Somehow the bad days get reset and I wake up renewed. I suppose just as it is meant to be.
Well this was timely for me. I’m prepping for a retreat where we are going to develop our own liturgies for waking and sleeping. Love all the ideas here.
Kelly, I appreciate your leadership and what you share here. A few of things I do to end the night are, as you mentioned, read a fiction book (for me—hard copy, not blue light, not something that makes me think of a to-do list) until I fall asleep, or if I am more intentional, I will listen to the Pause app or Lectio 365 app that has morning, noon and night devotions. All are sleep supportive. Life is so much better with good sleep hygiene. Thank you for your willingness to model and share the naming of your thoughts, feelings and experiences as they are. It helps me. Thanks for exercising the gift in service of humanity. We are better for it. God bless!
As an aside, I read a book by a Hospice physician entitled, The Four Things That Matter Most.” They are exactly what is referenced in your post. Recommended reading. Hospice, while hard, having been there and done that with my Grandma, changed forever how I saw life, breath and the number of days. I now, believe and feel, if we are warm and breathing, we still have a divine purpose, no matter our ability. Our presence alone matters. grandma’s final gift this side❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I do have bedtime and wake up rituals. At bedtime I write down things I’m grateful for. I used to write it in a fancy little notebook, but now I’m lazy and just dictate it into my phone.
I like to do a visualization that I learned and adapted from my teacher, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (Reb Zalman). I imagine being supported in loving divine arms and a canopy of peace over my head. I imagine being surrounded with four angels that I can “plug into” for qualities of love and wonder, strength and protection, guidance, and healing.
I also like to listen to some kind of a sleep story tell me fall asleep and lately I’ve been listening to a podcast called Sleep Magic. I have also used Calm.
What a thoughtful & timely post Kelly! Here goes: Thank You for sharing this new Day with me. We need each other. Let’s take better care. Together We Can. Rest well.
Cheers to that, Marilyn!
This is lovely, like a sharing of lullabys. My husband has a friend in his late 80’s who talks to God as he falls asleep. He says: Ok, God, if you have something for me to do tomorrow, wake me up in the morning. I love this. But mostly I talk to my self doubt buy silently chanting: I deeply and completely love and accept myself. .
That's a pretty amazing way that your husband's friend establishes each day as a gift before it even starts.
Also, I love the way you phrased that: talking to your self-doubt. It locates you outside of it, and it sets the stage for being tender toward it rather than critical of it. Inspiring, Cara!
Thank you Kelly! I am recharging from a reunion with my college roommate. It has been 30 years since we have seen each other...so you and I have a bit in common! However our class (high school '73) is past the 50 year mark!
Laurie's THE HO’OPONOPONO RITUAL— Thank you for today. Help me love myself, recharge with the gifts YOU have created me with, so I can use them for myself and others tomorrow. Amen 🥰
Wow, Laurie, 30 years in between, how wonderful that your ties continued to bind you across all those years!
I love your evening ritual. The focus on service to others spoke to me. There is something powerful about taking oneself out of the center of things as we are falling asleep. 🙏
I love this, thank you Kelly! I have a little mantra I say when falling asleep when I’m feeling anxious that helps. (I should probably do a version of this every night). The hypnagogic state is a powerful one for suggestion!
I am safe.
I am loved.
And everything is going to be ok.
Yes! The power of suggestion in those moments before falling asleep is something I've used too.... like asking my dreams to show me a sign of the next step (occasionally they comply!)
It never ceases to amaze me: when someone starts to intentionally welcome in content from their unconscious, they start remembering their dreams. Keeping a journal by the bed can be a gold mine!
I really like this and will be using it. I have been addressing a core safety wound that I am now aware drives much of my action and reaction. I was accused of being controlling and now see I was… And just trying to keep myself safe. I am safe now. Need to repeat that before bed!!
That’s it, Carla. We are controlling. We’re trying to control danger. What a powerful thing, to remind yourself that you’re safe now so you can release some control!
Linnea, I love the idea of doing it every night!
Also, for the first time ever I revised a post after I published it. You can see above that we share the need for that reassurance: "You are going to be OK." I think we all do!
Oh, that’s wonderful! 💜💜💜 Yes, I do think we all need reassurance these days to stop us from dropping into catastrophizing.
I pray for people who are going through catastrophes. People I do know and people I don’t know. It calms my soul
That’s beautiful Rae. And I can well imagine that it does feel calming.
I liked Noah Wyle in "The Librarian". That's more my style of entertainment. I did watch a lot of ER shows, but never felt enamored by it. My parents were both medical professionals (RN & Respiratory Therapist) so they critiqued the medical stuff all the time, removing the hollywood magic from the production for me.
My graduating class has not said much for any kind of reunion stuff this year even though it's our 30th as well. I don't think there is a lot of interest for those of us out of town to travel back for it. I come from a small place. Maybe 250 total graduates in my class, maybe. I had friends and am still sort of connected via Facebook to them, but I have no real connections to any of my peers since leaving. I was glad to get out honestly. High school was more of a nightmare than anything else. I was luckily not physically abused as some poor kids were but I got plenty of the other kind from elementary days until at least my sophomore year. I was not involved in anything at school really and I was not interested in much outside of school. I did scouting and church stuff and worked and that was it. I've worked, and worked, and worked.
Yuck. I need to get over my ick and just find some things to enjoy now. I'm so bad at hobbies and "self care" type stuff. My only real commitment is my love for my family and even that doesn't motivate me enough to be a better me like I want it to.
This mantra...maybe it can help. I'm not big on vocalizing much, so I'll maybe try it in my journal tonight. I'll write each word down and consider the several things I am grateful for, the several things I need to forgive, and the things I need forgiveness from under the list of people I love. I'll try it at least the once...maybe I'll try it again after that. We'll see.
JC, I always appreciate your honest reflections. We had a graduating class of about 180, and there were only a few dozen of us at the reunion. For me, it served as a reminder that high school is a time that a lot of us don’t wish to revisit. That makes sense.
Regarding your mantra. Take a look at the revised version of this post (first time ever). Consider not repeating Noah Wyle’s words, but whatever words your soul needs to hear the most.
Yeah...I like you phrasing on this, "...you don’t have to deny that stress to cultivate calmness in your mind, body, and soul at bedtime."
That is profound on it's own. I recall going through a meditation audio with my wife one time years ago. It was some guy who went and lived with Tibetan or ShaoLin Monks for several years. He talked about our mind being like a highway with all these passing vehicles (thoughts) and that to be mindful you just have to notice them passing...oh look there goes a blue one...there goes a thought about how sad I feel. He then specified that you just notice them, you don't have to make it stop and then dwell on it but just let it pass by. It was never about thinking hard and crushing, burning, or throwing away negative thoughts and feelings, it was always about letting them exist then having your interest on letting them pass as you focus on all the vehicles that are passing through your mind highway.
Maybe I can still use the words that Noah used on the show, but maybe I can also ad to them. I love, I thank, I forgive, I seek forgiveness, then... I am going to be okay and I have lots of reasons to get up and move in the morning. I need this sleep because I am going to contribute to important steps that will make me okay, even if it's not tomorrow, but the next day.
CONNECTING TO MY BODY
Rather than words, as I get comfortable in bed, I try to shift my awareness to body sensation, as the practice of yoga nidra has taught me to do. It's the fastest way for me to quiet my thinking mind and drift into easeful sleep. I love your suggested practice too Kelly, how beautiful 😊
Ah yes. Presence with the body is the best solution to the activity of the mind. Thank you for naming this Vicki!
DISENGAGE MY THOUGHTS through connecting to my body using the Vipassana method of scanning the sensation helps me to be present to myself and to God. I observe my thoughts and my emotions. If I were to let myself engage my thoughts it is difficult to fall asleep. Presence helps me more than words.
I wish I could tell you I had some deep and meaningful ritual as I fall asleep. My reality is I climb in bed around 8:45 PM. I smile with gratitude to have such a comfortable bed. I take several slow and deep breaths. Then, within minutes, I am asleep.
Look at the time (8:41 PM). Time for bed!
Ken, I appreciate your honesty as always. If you have time, take a look at the revised version of this post (first time ever). BTW, we need to talk about how you make an 8:45 bedtime work every day!
Kelly, after reading your post, and posting my comments last night, I fell asleep to the words, "I am energy. I am love. I am light. I am magnificent." Over and over again. This was inspired by my new favorite book (which we will talk about tomorrow)!
I love the opportunity to sleep and re-charge each evening. Somehow the bad days get reset and I wake up renewed. I suppose just as it is meant to be.
Well this was timely for me. I’m prepping for a retreat where we are going to develop our own liturgies for waking and sleeping. Love all the ideas here.
Liturgies for waking and sleeping. That’s beautiful, Deb. I hope you’ll circle back and share some of your takeaways!
Will do!
Kelly, I appreciate your leadership and what you share here. A few of things I do to end the night are, as you mentioned, read a fiction book (for me—hard copy, not blue light, not something that makes me think of a to-do list) until I fall asleep, or if I am more intentional, I will listen to the Pause app or Lectio 365 app that has morning, noon and night devotions. All are sleep supportive. Life is so much better with good sleep hygiene. Thank you for your willingness to model and share the naming of your thoughts, feelings and experiences as they are. It helps me. Thanks for exercising the gift in service of humanity. We are better for it. God bless!
As an aside, I read a book by a Hospice physician entitled, The Four Things That Matter Most.” They are exactly what is referenced in your post. Recommended reading. Hospice, while hard, having been there and done that with my Grandma, changed forever how I saw life, breath and the number of days. I now, believe and feel, if we are warm and breathing, we still have a divine purpose, no matter our ability. Our presence alone matters. grandma’s final gift this side❤️
Thank you for your kind words, Rhonda, and for offering those additional outlets for bedtime peace. Not all apps are created equal! :)
And my goodness, thank you for recommending that book. I will be reading it for sure.
Thank you for sharing this. I do have bedtime and wake up rituals. At bedtime I write down things I’m grateful for. I used to write it in a fancy little notebook, but now I’m lazy and just dictate it into my phone.
I like to do a visualization that I learned and adapted from my teacher, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (Reb Zalman). I imagine being supported in loving divine arms and a canopy of peace over my head. I imagine being surrounded with four angels that I can “plug into” for qualities of love and wonder, strength and protection, guidance, and healing.
I also like to listen to some kind of a sleep story tell me fall asleep and lately I’ve been listening to a podcast called Sleep Magic. I have also used Calm.