“Who do you help and how do you help them?”

I was asked that question recently and thought about how I announced last month during our community call that I’ll no longer be reviewing the “rules of engagement” at the beginning of our meetings. It’s simply unnecessary—the Humaning community is the kindest, most graceful gathering of people I've ever had the good fortune to know. The answer to the question was out of my mouth before I knew it:

"I help kind people navigate the complexities of human connection."

The “how” part of my answer is something I’ve thought about a lot in the seven years since I wrote Loveable—a book about the three subplots around which every human story revolves: worthiness, belonging, and purpose. I’ve thought about how worthiness is wonderful but woefully empty if there’s no one there to witness it. I’ve thought about how a life of purpose is powerful but also painful if our people aren’t a part of it. In other words, I’ve thought about how belonging is at the center of Loveable, and how it’s also at the heart of humaning.

Human connection, though, is exceptionally complex. Everything that happens between all people is influenced by everything happening within every person. Consequently, relationships can quickly become a messy and mysterious matrix of conflict and disharmony.

Here at Humaning, we sort some of the mess and solve some of the mystery, so we can bring the best of our humanity to the rest of humanity.

“You can survive on your own;” writes Frederick Buechner, “you can grow strong on your own; you can prevail on your own; but you cannot become human on your own.” Here, we’re becoming more beautifully human together, so we can bring that humaning back to our people.

That’s what you belong to when you join 14,000+ other subscribers of Humaning.

Get the discounted $50 annual subscription (just $4-ish a month) and receive:

  • inspiration and guidance from me every Wednesday—right in your inbox,

  • our monthly Human Hour community calls on Zoom, with topics chosen by you to maximize the helpfulness to your humaning,

  • our Relationship Lab community threads, in which you get direct guidance from me about topics essential to relationship thriving, and…

  • a digital download of The Marriage Manifesto—a treatise on marriage that will elevate your consciousness in every relationship.

A paid subscriber recently remarked that the Human Hour call alone was more helpful than the personal transformation conference she’d just attended, which cost a thousand dollars, a plane ticket, and three nights of hotel. You can join us by subscribing for just $5/month, though I’d encourage you to take advantage of the discounted annual subscription. You are worth a year’s worth of humaning!

Full-access founding members will also get the Loveable Bonus Bundle, including:

  • a signed copy of Loveable,

  • exclusive recordings of supplemental conversations with me about deepening your experiences of worthiness, belonging, and purpose, and

  • an exclusive digital download of the Loveable companion guide—in a step-by-step process I’ll walk with you into a greater sense of worthiness and the belonging that is your birthright.

Free subscribers:

  • are equally beloved around here and get a post most Wednesdays about the art of humaning.

Are you a book reader, too?

You’re in the right place, because I’m a book writer, too. I write books that help you navigate the complexity of your inner life so you can show up truly and totally to your outer life. Loveable is about turning shame into worthiness, True Companions is about turning loneliness into lifelong togetherness, and Unhiding is about turning subtle duplicity into true authenticity.

Author Katherine Pershey described Loveable as "a handbook for how to be human." New York Times bestselling author Bob Goff said True Companions is "a gift to every couple and every kind of companion everywhere." And award-winning author Cheryl Bostrom had this to say about my first novel: "Tuesdays with Morrie meets The Shack in The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell…a pitch-perfect page-turner of a story…I closed the cover with new clarity, new conviction and, I hope, new capability to forgive and love."

Find out more

A little bit about me…

I’m a psychologist turned novelist and a few things in between, including a husband of twenty-plus years, a dad to three amazing human beings between the ages of fourteen and twenty, a keynote speaker, and a coach to a handful of successful entrepreneurs who want more than mere success. A while back, I was on the TODAY Show with my daughter. Here, take a look:

In addition, my work has been featured in Reader’s Digest, HuffPost, and Success Magazine. Not to mention, other than the Bible, my writing is the only cited reference in The 5 Love Languages. Ha!

I’m married to another clinical psychologist named Kelly. That’s right: Dr. Kelly and Dr. Kelly. We wreak havoc at airport security. A while back, we moved to a little town in rural Illinois where, on any snowy morning before dawn, the streetlight outside our house is reminiscent of the lamp post in Narnia where Lucy met Tumnus.

I’m so glad you’re here.

I’m keenly aware that without readers like you, there are no authors like me. In other words, we’re in a relationship that matters to me, and I’d love to get to know you better, so after you subscribe feel free to leave a note in the comments on any post.

To humaning together,


Subscribe to Humaning with Dr. Kelly Flanagan

Helping kind people navigate the complexities of human connection.


Author, speaker, coach, clinical psychologist, and thought leader: interpersonal relationships. Featured in The 5 Love Languages, the TODAY Show, Reader's Digest, & Success Magazine. My purpose is my people.