“He said, she said.”
That phrase typically refers to a situation in which two people offer conflicting accounts of the same event and there’s no clear evidence to prove which version is true—it’s just the word of one person against the word of another.
However, “He said, she said” could also be used to describe any conversation in which both people are speaking and no one is really listening.
This happens far more than you might think. It doesn’t just happen when both people are vocalizing their thoughts. Often, it looks like one person is listening, but if that person is distracted, mentally rehearsing their defense, planning their reply, analyzing what is being said, or thinking about ending the conversation, they are not playing the role of the listener.
Most conversational conflict consists of two speakers and no listener, because we lack clarity about who should be speaking or listening in any given moment.
During this month’s Zoom call for paid subscribers, we focused on how to establish a rhythm of speaking and listening in all our conversations, so connection can actually happen and the chances of conflict are diminished. We recorded my keynote for replay so you can benefit from these ideas too.
This is what you’ll get in the Replay:
We correct a harmful misconception about one of the most fundamental relational polarities
We simplify the lens through which you can look at any interaction or conversation, so you can pivot more nimbly between speaking and listening, maintaining balance between participants
We provide a scientifically-supported tool for speaking and listening in a constructive way, especially in high-stakes and conflict-prone conversations
In the unrecorded Q&A session, Kelly answered attendees questions about how to apply this tool in real-life moments and provided coaching for specific situations, especially in application to parenting young and adult children.
If you attended the Q&A after the keynote, I’d love to continue the discussion with you in the comments. Also, if you missed the live event but have questions of your own after watching the full replay, I’d be happy to answer those in the comments as well.
Note: By upgrading below, free subscribers can view the whole replay, join the discussion in the comments, and get access to future Human Hours.
